Wit Inspirations Of The "Two-Year-Olds"
by Mark Twain
Quite Rich
by Gordon Smith and Erik Garner Warren
Don't Let Them Kid You, It'll Be Back Next Year.
by Jim Oliver
The Invention of the English
by David Erik Nelson
Brittany, We're Coming to Get You
by James P. Miller
Britney Spears has Big Boobs
by Gordon Smith
I Dated a Playboy Playmate
by Ellen Hayes
Kill! Kill! Kill! No Mercy For the Masses!
by Gordon Smith
Why Do All These Bands Have Numbers in Their Names?
by Jason Michael
Mistakes Were Made
by Erik Garner Warren
Devil's Night
by M@LONE
Voting Is For Suckers
by Gordon Smith
Why Doesn't Anyone Love Me?
by Jason Michael
A Modest Proposal
for preventing the children of poor people in Ireland, from being a burden on their parents or country, and for making them beneficial to the publick.
by Dr. Jonathan Swift
Page 617 from the Poor Mojo Special Services Exam:
Qualification Exam Relevant for Levels X to OP13
by the PMjA Staff
On the French and their Friggin Chickens
A Letter from a Provencal Kitchen
by Sarah Whitney Womack
Here's What I Hate About Christmas: All the Fucking Naysayers.
by Anne Marie Ellison
Here's What I Hate About Christmas: All the Fucking Gentiles
by Erik Garner Warren
Here's What I Hate About Christmas: Erik Garner Warren is a Jerk
by the PMjA Staff
Warning: Excessive Use May Result in Loss of Motor Skills
by Jessica Dzwigalski
That Was One Boring Apocalypse
by Gordon Smith
What's With All These Zombies?
by Morgan Johnson
It's All Jim Lehrer's Fault
by Sara Schneider and Fritz Swanson
Musings After Overtime at the Porn Factory
by Luke Bruhns
Page 707 from the Poor Mojo Special Services Exam:
Qualification Exam Relevant for Levels X to OP13
by the PMjA Staff
Finland, Finland Uber Alles
by Gordon Smith
Protocols of the Elders of Sweden
by Terence S. Hawkins
Trains
by Fritz Swanson
Punk Lyrics from the Unlikeliest of Places
by Andrew McDevitt
Advice to Little Girls
by Mark Twain
Showers of Living Things
by Charles Hoy Fort
Live Nude Girls
by Luke Bruhns
If You Come Only Once, You've Been Cheated: A Post-Structuralist Examination of the Hegemony of the "Pure" and "Sordid"[1]
by lolly@biperson.com (annotations by the PMjA Staff)
Perfect Day
by Lucas Kovar
Dear Mr. Brooks:
An Open Letter to That Guy Who Wrote That Fucking Article in the Atlantic Monthly
by Cara Jeanne Spindler
The Danger of Lying in Bed
by Mark Twain
Electron Band Structure In Germanium, My Ass
by Lucas Kovar
Clitoris: The Anatomical Gerund
by Presley Waits
I Have Precious Little Indie Cred
by Jason Michael
What Greatly Displeases Me in the Current Executive Administration
by Sally McBootykins (formerly known as the Giant Squid)
Page 319 from the Poor Mojo Special Services Exam:
Qualification Exam Relevant for Levels X to OP13
by the PMjA Staff
Page 321 from the Poor Mojo Special Services Exam:
Qualification Exam Relevant for Levels X to OP13
by the PMjA Staff
The Retail Manifesto, part one
by Johnny Retail
The Retail Manifesto, part two
If the Customer is Always Right, You Can Suck My Cock
by Gordon Smith
On John Irving
by Fritz Swanson
The Retail Manifesto, part three
Not to Beat a Dead Horse, But Please . . .
by Sara Schneider
In Praise of Close-Mindedness
A Manifesto for the Thoughtful Asshole
by Lucas Kovar
I Am a Bootlicker
by MLQ3
The Bisexuality FAQ
by "Q" and "A"
Poor Mojo is One Year Old!
by the PMjA Staff
My Summer Vacation
by Terence S. Hawkins
My, Has She Ever Aged Shamefully
by Jason Kirk
Hobbits Liked to Have Books Filled with Things They Already Knew:
Reflections on a Post-Soviet Kazakhstan
by Erik Garner Warren
Hobbits Liked to Have Books Filled with Things They Already Knew:
Further Reflections on a Post-Soviet Kazakhstan
by Erik Garner Warren
What Should be in *Your* Submission?
by the PMjA Staff
My Summer Vacation Redux
by Terence S. Hawkins
The Pleasure of Being Down
a thirty-three dollar rant
by Fritz Swanson
We Whistlers in the Graveyard
by David Erik Nelson
On the Difficulty on Ascertaining Normal and Recognizing Costumes (a field study)
a thirty-three dollar rant
by Morgan Johnson
911 or Gulf Wars Chapter II: America Strikes Back
by Gordon Smith
Perhaps Hopping Colts
From The Book of the Damned
by Charles Hoy Fort
Recycled Christmas: One Family's Revolution Against the Shopping Mall
by Brian Smith
I Have This Fucked Up New Job
by Rob Miller
The Promise
by Manuel L. Quezon III
What I Don't Want for Christmas,
or The Johnny Retail Xmas Rant.
by Johnny Retail
By Krakatoa
From The Book of the Damned
by Charles Hoy Fort
On Cheese: A Filipino Restaurateur Reflects on Law and Order
by Clinton Palanca
My Watch: An Instructive Little Tale
by Mark Twain
Two Bodies
from Wild Talents
by Charles Hoy Fort
Information Wanted
by Mark Twain
My New Job Is WAY More Fucked Up Than I Thought
by Rob Miller
Living On the Moon
by Fritz Swanson
"Pussy Bomb" Latest Threat Says Ashcroft, FBI
by Terence S. Hawkins
Any Country That Calls It Grog Is OK in My Book
by David Bricker
An Argument from the Nonviolent Liberal
by Amy Barbour
A Rebuttal for the Nonviolent Liberal
by Ralph the Airborne Ranger
St. Joeseph and the Fish Flies
by Ralph the Airborne Ranger
Batteries
by b.
Kill the Karaoke Singer
by Manuel L. Quezon III
A Rebuttal for the "Airborne Fucking Ranger"
by Georgia Blake
A Rebuttal for Johnny Retail
by Tom Plain-and-Tall
Shuffle Your Own Damn Papers
by Nicole Boback
Toward a Unified Theory of Touch
by Manish Raiji
The Problem of Evil
by J.E.C.
A Rebuttal for A Rebuttal of A Rebuttal . . . i think this has gone too far
by Ralph the Airborne Ranger
Another Church Shocker: "Fuck It!" Says Resigning Cardinal
by Terence S. Hawkins
The Problem of Communism; or Why It's Bad To Have an MBA as President
by J.E.C.
Capitalist Pigs Deserve No More Moral Clarity Than the Rest of Us
by Pappy Hants
The Idiot's Guide to Attila the Hun
by Claire King
Don't Fear the Reefer
by J.E.C.
The Madness of King George
by J.E.C.
Motion to Stipulate my RIGHT AND DUTY TO LIVE ON THIS EARTH A LONG AND HAPPY LIFE (with Four Wives), and to Stop This Judge Misrepresenting My Fight for Life
by Zacarias Moussaoui
Practical Advice for the Tragic Poet
by Aristotle
1001 Uses for a Container
by Morgan Johnson
A Letter on the subject of DAYLIGHT SAVING To THE AUTHORS of The Journal of Paris
by Benjamin Franklin
Ruth Handler: Death Of A Tit Man
by Terence S. Hawkins
My Kid Sister Has Cancer
by David Erik Nelson
Sympathy
by Nicole Boback
Geronimo's Mightiest Battle
by Geronimo
Is There A Retard Specialist In the House?
by Terence S. Hawkins
The Curious Republic Of Gondour
by Mark Twain
Lincoln's Last Speech
by Abraham Lincoln
A Memory
by Mark Twain
The Last Time I Saw bin Laden
by David Pacheco
How I Became a Printer in Philadelphia (from his Autobiography)
by Benjamin Franklin
The New Gender Politics of Draining the Lizard
by Terence S. Hawkins
Nostalgia
by Fritz Swanson
On the Meaning of Thanksgiving;
the full text of a speech given by the Giant Squid to the assembled orphans of Our Lady of Fatima.
by the Giant Squid
CrapLongStories.com: where publishing might go, you know, maybe
by Fritz Swanson
Train Baron Appointed Treasury Secretary; Collection Of 19th Century Cliches Now Complete
by Fritz Swanson
Honey I Shrank My Pants
by Radhika Sharma
A Selection of Christmas Headlines
collected by the PMjA Staff
Coming of the White Men
by Geronimo
Why I Propose to Wrest Control of This "Almanac(k)" From it's Filthy, Simian Purveyors; How I shall Accomplish the Deed; and How You, the Fair Reader, shall Benefit
by Architeuthis dux (the Giant Squid)
Just a Maryland Moment
by Manish Raiji
How Can A Man Smoke Without An Ashtray?
by Manish Raiji
Apple Breaks It Down Old School, Pushes Forward, Screams, Break-Dances And Then Sets Itself On Fire.
by Our Reporter
We Hate Fun
by Old People
OK, So I Totally Stepped In It This Time. Totally.
by Rob Miller
With Regards To The Study And The Manufacture Of Art And Literature
by Fritz Swanson
Feels Like I'm Fixing to Die
by David Erik Nelson
Remarks Concerning the Savages of North America
by Benjamin Franklin
How to Write a Popular Play
by George Bernard Shaw
The Funeral Oration (Including Sundry Observations of Democracy and Athens)
by Pericles of Athens
I Got My Man-Titties At Krispy Kreme!
by Terence S. Hawkins
About This Whole "Ode to the Love's Lost" Thing
by Rob Miller
The Mouth-Breather I Work With Keeps Smelling My Hair
by Molly Reynolds
I Dated a Playboy Playmate (part 1 of 2)
By Ellen Hayes
I Dated a Playboy Playmate (part 2 of 2)
By Ellen Hayes
The Day Titanic Drowned
by Tom Sheehan
Girls, Girls, Girls
by ivica
Tobacco and Liquor
by ivica
Information to Those Who Would Remove to America
by Benjamin Franklin
How To Tell A Story
by Mark Twain
David Nelson is Dead
by David Erik Nelson
Now Corporations Claim The "Right To Lie"
by Thom Hartmann
Revenge of the Jedi: Starting to Think About Where Copyright is Getting Us (part 1 of 2)
by Fritz Swanson
6-19-2003
Revenge of the Jedi: Starting to Think About Where Copyright is Getting Us (part 2 of 2)
by Fritz Swanson
6-26-2003
Wacky Iraqi Pinochle
by Alan C. Baird
7-3-2003
In The Event Of Moon Disaster
by Richard Milhous Nixon
7-10-2003
In the Event of Space Monkey Hyperevolution
by Dwight David Eisenhower
7-17-2003
Lunch Lady Memoirs
by Leah Stephens
7-24-2003
Next to West Virginia
by John Sheirer
7-31-2003
Your Librarian Hates You!
by r.wade
8-7-2003
Political Selections from:
THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY (part 1 of 2)
by Ambrose Bierce
(Abridged in 2003 for Modern Readers and Those with Taste and Grit by Morgan Johnson)
8-14-2003
Political Selections from:
THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY (part 2 of 2)
by Ambrose Bierce
(Abridged in 2003 for Modern Readers and Those with Taste and Grit by Morgan Johnson)
8-21-2003
Am I still An Unpatriotic Traitor?
by Ed Hanratty
8-28-2003
For Sale: My Tattoo
by M.P.
9-4-2003
Operation: Downy Fresh; True Story Of An MP Mission In Iraq
by Luke Bruhns
9-11-2003
Roseville is Killing Me
by Luke Bruhns
9-18-2003
So, I'm Living in Small-town Middle America Again
by Fritz Garner Swanson
9-25-2003
My Diva Hospitality Demands
by Lucia Tomato
10-2-2003
Briefly, On the Nature of Love and, Thus, Sexuality
(a brief selection from Plato's Symposium)
by Aristophanes, via Aristodemus, who passed it on to Apollodorus, who in turn told Plato who now tells Us
10-9-2003
Theoderic, King of the USA
by Fritz Garner Swanson
10-30-2003
A Guide to Charging the Mound;
How to Win, No Matter What
by Jason Polan
12-18-2003
Briefly Regarding the Heuristics of Self and Other and the Ramifications on the Self-Ideation of Economic Personhood: The Parable Of The Copper Pennies
by G. David Schwartz
12-18-2003
Drunken Librarian Hits Fundraiser With Crotch On Fire
by the Hot Librarian
12-25-2003
Love Me Some Death Money Ecstasy
by Our Anonymous Friend in the Sand
1-1-2004
Remember: In response to Our Anonymous Friend in the Sand's "Death Money Ecstasy."
by Morgan Johnson
1-8-2004
George W. Bush, Our First Hip-Hop President
by Fritz Swanson
1-15-2004
Living On the Moon
by Fritz Swanson
1-22-2004
Road Rage
by Terence S. Hawkins
1-29-2004
Bad Dreams
by Fritz Swanson
2-5-2004
I'm the Exact Same Height as the One-time Democratic Front-Runner; please listen to me because this fact makes me very important
by Fritz Swanson
2-12-2004
Imperial America Gets Bit in the Ass.
by Malone
2-19-2004
Equal Opportunity Offenders; Or, There's No Littlest Defense like a Good Littlest Offense
by Sarah Whitney Womack
2-26-2004
The Punk Rock Show
by Malone
3-4-2004
Pop Quiz
apperently by Molly Reynolds' Elder Nephew's Science Teacher
3-11-2004
The Feminine Mind
by H.L. Mencken
3-18-2004
Women's Intelligence
by H.L. Mencken
3-25-2004
legitimate beef
by Jason Dulde
4-1-2004
NPR Allows Caller to Put His Dick in My Ear, Parts I & II
by Pappy Hants
4-8-2004
The Masculine Bag of Tricks
by H.L. Mencken
4-15-2004
Report on Government for Western Territory; March 1, 1784
by Thomas Jefferson
5-6-2004
Why Women Fail
by H.L. Mencken
5-13-2004
An E-Mail
by Manish Tushar Raiji
5-20-2004
The Great French Duel (part 1 of 2)
by Mark Twain
5-27-2004
The Great French Duel (part 2 of 2)
by Mark Twain
6-3-2004
Brittany Mary-Kate and Ashley, We're Coming to Get You
by James P. Miller and the PMjA Staff
6-10-2004
How Not to Write
by Jenny Wright
6-17-2004
The Thing Called Intuition
by H.L. Mencken
6-24-2004
On the Decay of the Art of Lying (part 1 of 2)
by Mark Twain
7-1-2004
Scheme for a New Alphabet and a Reformed Mode of Spelling
by Benjamin Franklin
7-8-2004
On the Decay of the Art of Lying (part 2 of 2)
by Mark Twain
7-15-2004
Stupidity: Its Uses & Abuses
by Robert Levin
7-22-2004
The Thing Called Intuition
by H.L. Mencken
7-29-2004
How Marriages are Arranged
by H.L. Mencken
8-5-2004
I Want a Ninja.
by Admiral Studmuffin of the HMS Hotass
9-2-2004
Men as Aesthetes
by H.L. Mencken
9-9-2004
The Male Beauty
by H.L. Mencken
9-16-2004
The Somnambulists
by Jack London
9-23-2004
Some Thoughts on the Science of Onanism
by Mark Twain
9-30-2004
Letter From Sudan #1: Arrival (part one)
by Krista Ahmed
10-7-2004
Letter From Sudan #1: Arrival (part two)
by Krista Ahmed
10-14-2004
Letter From Sudan #1: Arrival (part three)
by Krista Ahmed
10-21-2004
Concerning The Latino Community of Zhuzhou, China (A PMjA Dispatch from Abroad)
by Max Montesino
10-28-2004
Smokestack City (A PMjA Dispatch from Abroad)
by Max Montesino
11-4-2004
A Letter to the Editors, in Celebration of PMjA Issue #200
by Jason Polan
11-11-2004
The Shrinkage of the Planet
by Jack London
11-18-2004
Presidential Thanks-To-Giving Address, Novembrus 2004
by the Giant Squid, President elect
11-25-2004
A Suicide Note In A Sewing Table
by David Erik Nelson
12-2-2004
Professor Dingell's Night Out (A Photo-Essay)
by Terrence McWee
12-9-2004
In Defense of the Hare
by P.F. Loyd
12-16-2004
The Terrors of Santa Claus (A Photo-Essay)
by Terrence McWee
12-23-2004
Dinner Chatter
by J. R. Salling
12-30-2004
The Year in Hate
by Morgan Johnson
1-6-2005
The Yellow Peril
by Jack London
1-13-2005
The Giant Squid's Inaugural Address, Januarius 20, 2005
by the Giant Squid, President of the United States of America
1-20-2005
A Neglected Anniversary
by H.L. Mencken
1-27-2005
Becoming an American after Having Been Born One
By Fritz Swanson
2-3-2005
Squid Of The Union Address
transcribed by Rob Miller,
Lab Assistant and Press Secretary to President Architeuthis dux
of the United States of America
2-10-2005
Thanksgiving & Dark Hungers: Flesh, Guns and Blood
by David Erik Nelson
2-17-2005
Tianjin Rock City (A PMjA Dispatch from Abroad)
by Max Montesino
2-24-2005
Dan Murphy
or
The Irish Are Luckless Bastards, and Their Wives Cheap As Hell!
by Mark Twain
3-3-2005
Sasquatch Math
by J. Sallini-Genovese
3-10-2005
Our Superman, Ourselves; my realization upon reading the Superman is a Dick archive
by Morgan Johnson
3-17-2005
Diarrhea and the Lord: A Primer
by Erik Garner Warren
3-24-2005
Fertility's End
by Alan Benard
3-31-2005
PMjA Staff Living Wills
by the PMjA Staff
4-7-2005
Ass-hole!
(An Anonymous Rant)
by some maniac who has my home address, shared by Alan Benard
4-14-2005
Why the "Huffington Report" Can't Work
by Fritz Swanson
4-21-2005
The Half-Life of Shame
by David Erik Nelson
4-28-2005
Open Letter to Anyone Who Gives a Shit About Justice
by Ajai Raj
5-5-2005
Last Words: A Short Essay on Democracy
by H.L. Mencken
5-12-2005
Chiropractic
by H.L. Mencken
5-19-2005
Coochie Blasters!
or,
Thirteen Ways of Viewing Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation
by Kurt Nadie
5-26-2005
Expository
by Fritz Swanson
6-2-2005
Aphids
by Nolan Sen-Snow
6-9-2005
Flag Day: Schools Should Not Teach Kids To Verbally Fellate Flags
(with Addendum)
by Rex Curry, Attorney At Law
(addendum by David Erik Nelson, Editor, PMjA)
6-16-2005
These Bones Shall Rise Again
by Jack London
6-23-2005
So You Want To Review Porn Films
by Talia Heighman
6-30-2005
This I Believe: Profiles in Courageous Americanism, pt 1.
Armstrong on the Moon
by the Giant Squid
Architeuthis rex mundi
President of these United States
7-7-2005
The Blind Accordion Player
by Jason Polan
7-14-2005
Why We Aren't Stealing Music
by the PMjA Staff
7-21-2005
The Newswire Challenge
by Morgan Johnson
7-28-2005
Dispatch from a Writer's Retreat in Minnesota
by Cara Spindler
8-4-2005
Morning Sickness
by Sara Swanson
8-11-2005
To Anyone Who Has Ever Visited An Amusement Park. Hell, To Anyone Who Has Ever Purchased A Product.
by Christopher John McLouth
8-18-2005
It Was Wet Outside And Everybody Was Carrying Heavy Things
by Jason Polan
8-25-2005
Maybe Insane Japanese Robot-Alien-Mythical-Monstrous Fuck Comics Have Got It Right
by M/C
9-1-2005
Yeats on New Orleans, from Beyond the Grave
by David Erik Nelson
9-8-2005
Killing In The Land Of Make Believe
by Jeremy Cope
9-15-2005
Is The Right All That's Left?
by Luke Bruhns
9-22-2005
Evening the Score When Playing the Race Card
by Milton Gray
9-29-2005
You Are Bidding On A Mistake
by Brian Sack
10-6-2005
Killing in the Land of Roseville
by Milton Gray
10-13-2005
The Aristocrats
by Kurt Nadie
10-20-2005
A Response: Milton Gray Doesn't Get It (But then again, neither do Rachel Maddow, Tucker Carlson, or Chuck D)
by Pappy Hants
10-27-2005
A True Rosa Parks Story, From My Mom
by Morgan Johnson
11-3-2005
Why Free Stuff From The Internet Is A Bad Idea
or
Why Do I Do Stupid Things To Myself?
by Jessica Longo
11-10-2005
Industrial Espionage and the World's Greatest Sangria Recipe
by Morgan Johnson
11-17-2005
Dumped by Boyfriend--Selling his Tool
by Pamela Blackmon
11-24-2005
My WalMart Issues
by Sylvia J Adams
12-1-2005
Life and Death and Electromagnetic Radiation
by David Erik Nelson
12-8-2005
Pricing Paradigms
by Eric Howerton
12-15-2005
It's Okay For Me To Be Happy
by Gwendolyn Joyce Mintz
12-22-2005
Gym Etiquette: For Those Who Don't Know Or Don't Care
by Charles Clifford Brooks III
12-29-2005
Super Sensitive Human Beings
by Melissa Nation
1-5-2006
Read This And I Own Your Brain
by Noah Berlatsky
Things We Need
by Fritz Swanson
1-19-2006
On What It Feels Like To Have A Large-Ish Tumor Cut Out Of Your Back When You Are Awake
by Morgan Johnson
1-26-2006
In Praise of Bruce Springsteen
by Sarah Erdreich
2-2-2006
Yo-Ho-Ho and a Bottle of Pop-ularity
by Noah Berlatsky
2-9-2006
Hoopla On Frey
by P.L. George
2-16-2006
The Finest Machine-Generated Joke Ever
by Terrence McWee
2-23-2006
In His Image
Leslie Wolter
3-2-2006
The Tale of the Drunk Immigrant in Spain
by Irma Cedeño
3-9-2006
Sinister Jokes as Koans
by David Erik Nelson
3-16-2006
The Penis is an Oppressor
by Leslie Wolter
3-23-2006
The Most Depressing Place on Earth
by Len Baron
3-30-2006
A Wasted Education And The Rest
by Danny Bernardi
4-6-2006
Sorry, Bukowski
by P.L. George
4-13-2006
Month to Month
by Sarah Erdreich
4-20-2006
About Smells
by Mark Twain
4-27-2006
Three Signs Of The End Times
by David Erik Nelson
5-4-2006
De Thaumaturgia
by Aleister Crowley
5-11-2006
G-Strings, Thongs and Panties
by April Tierney
5-25-2006
The Law of Liberty
by Aleister Crowley
6-1-2006
Briefly on What's Wrong with Gay Marriage
by David Erik Nelson
6-8-2006
Two American Latinas Seeking Adventure in Morocco; What They Found
by Irma Cedeño
6-15-2006
The Approaching Epidemic
by Mark Twain
6-22-2006
Confessions of a Hypochondriac
by Sarah Flake
6-29-2006
Of Eden and the Sacred Oak
by Aleister Crowley
7-6-2006
Letter from Porlamar: The Tale of John Smith, and the Driving Habits of Venezuelans
by Bob Johnson
7-13-2006
Letter from Juan Griego: On Fishing on Isla Margarita, and the Menace of the Chinese Fishing Fleet
by Bob Johnson
7-20-2006
The Writer's Life: A Letter From New York City
by David Sallen
7-27-2006
A Letter to the President: Malkovich Yoga Vindaloo
by David Erik Nelson
8-3-2006
Casualty
by Sarah Erdreich
8-10-2006
My Father is a Convicted Child Molester
by Ray Matthison
8-17-2006
A Royal Compliment
by Mark Twain
8-24-2006
Our Precious Lunatic
by Mark Twain
8-31-2006
Your Data Is Fungible
by David Erik Nelson
9-7-2006
By The Time It Reach Hollywood, It's Over
by Noah Berlatsky
9-14-2006
The Creepiest Thing I Ever Saw
by Morgan Johnson
9-21-2006
Did You See That Thing I Just Did?
by Adrian Chen
9-28-2006
All Us Monsters
(a video rant)
by Hugs
10-5-2006
On How I Grew Afraid Of Becoming A Raisin In The Sun In The Wintertime Because Of The View From The Balcony
by Irma Cedeño
10-12-2006
The Wounded Soldier
by Mark Twain
10-19-2006
The Slow Drain
by Heather Siegel
10-26-2006
Ask Not
by David Robert Nelson
11-2-2006
Presidential Shakespeare
(a video rant)
by Hugs
11-9-2006
The Cat Made Me Do It
by Melissa Nation
11-16-2006
Middle Age
by Windy Harris
11-23-2006
Gollahan
by Dan Provost
11-30-2006
More Than Pikachus And Purple Hair: The Truth About Animé
by Alex Kim
12-7-2006
Happy Thanksgiving, Detroit!
by Alan Benard
12-14-2006
Born-Again Bathers
by Matt St. Amand
12-21-2006
Rules by Which a Great Empire May Be Reduced to a Small One
by Benjamin Franklin
12-28-2006
The View From the Top
by Dave Yeager
1-4-2007
Never Lie to Mommy
by Matthea Marquart
1-11-2007
Carpet Bombing the Literary World
by Michael G. McLaughlin
1-18-2007
Assault on Mount Carmel
by Tom Sheehan
1-25-2007
Last Words of Great Men
by Mark Twain
2-1-2007
Traffic
by Katharine Coldiron
2-8-2007
Tired/Sick
by Sarah Erdreich
2-15-2007
Grief
by Milton Gray
2-22-2007
The Invalid's Story
by Mark Twain
3-1-2007
Anna Nicole Smith Died of Pneumonia
by Fritz Swanson
3-8-2007
If You Come Only Once, You've Been Cheated: A Post-Structuralist Examination of the Hegemony of the "Pure" and "Sordid" [1]
(a Poor Mojo's Classic)
by lolly@biperson.com (annotations by the PMjA Staff)
3-15-2007
Rules of Civility & Decent Behaviour in Company and Conversation: a Book of Etiquette
by George Washington
3-22-2007
Rules of Civility & Decent Behavior In Company and Conversation: a Book of Etiquette, Abridged
by George W. Bush
3-29-2007
Rules of Civility & Decent Behaviour In Company and Conversation: a Book of Etiquette, Abridged
by the Giant Squid
4-5-2007
Boy in Cart
by Katharine Coldiron
4-12-2007
What You Are
by Noah Berlatsky
4-19-2007
Inter Caecos Regnat Strabo (What Am I A Calculator?)
by Zachary Biehler
4-26-2007
Happy Quatro de Mayo!
by David Erik Nelson
5-3-2007
The World Can Keep Going -- I'm Already Off!
by Bryon D. Howell
5-10-2007
Tradition and Progress Are Often in Conflict: A Twenty-Minute Practice Essay Suggested by the College Board Writing Service
by Noah Berlatsky
5-17-2007
The Misunderstood Life of St. Barnaby Stylites
by C.B. Hinojosa
5-24-2007
Nate Crumpley
by G. David Schwartz
5-31-2007
How To Save The World
by Rhonda Parrish
6-7-2007
Feel the Burn
by Sylvia J. Adams
6-14-2007
Abject Conjecture
by Adam Moorad
6-21-2007
Directions?
by Zachary Biehler
6-28-2007
Things on a Bridge
by Jason Polan
7-5-2007
The Despised Pastoral
by H.P. Lovecraft
7-12-2007
Just the Facts
by R.J. Bullock
7-19-2007
756
by Jason Polan
7-26-2007
The Defense of Poesy
by Sir Philip Sidney
8-2-2007
Old School Tie Strangles the Professions
by Danny Bernardi
8-9-2007
Before They Were Famous
by Noah Berlatsky
8-16-2007
Why I Am Poor
(a realization)
by Sylvia J. Adams
Consider the Poor Locust
by R.J. Bullock
8-30-2007
Internet Miracles and Church Camp
by Alan Benard
9-6-2007
A Pundit In Every Pot-Head
by Noah Berlatsky
9-13-2007
Amerikan Spectacle
by Joseph Scott Rutledge
9-20-2007
Grinding It Out For High School Kids
by Tony R. Rodriguez
9-27-2007
In the Zone of the Stream
by Danielle Foley
10-4-2007
Why Not Swashbucklers?
by Ethan Bernard
10-11-2007
Ode to A Large Computer Store Which I Cannot Name
by J. M. Munsil
10-18-2007
News from the Center of the Ring of Fire
by Heather Siegel
10-25-2007
Introductory to "Memoranda"
by Mark Twain
11-1-2007
A Recipe for Sadness: Why the Jon Stewart/ Chris Matthews Fight Matters for the Obama/Clinton Nomination Fight, and Why It Might Matter for Your Soul
by Fritz Swanson
11-8-2007
The Danger of Dumbing Down
by Gary Beck
11-15-2007
Hicks' Eulogy
by Kenneth Slaathaug
11-22-2007
The Search for Wisdom
by Comenius
11-29-2007
They Found The Dog First
by Rhonda Parrish
12-6-2007
Silence Speaks Volumes
by Adrien Aniceto
12-13-2007
What I Don't Want for Christmas,
or The Johnny Retail Xmas Rant
by Johnny Retail
12-20-2007
Sold to Satan
by Mark Twain
12-27-2007
Poor Mojo Debates the Presidential Primaries
by The Poor Mojo Staff
1-3-2008
Resemble This
by R.J. Bullock
1-10-2008
A Revised Policy Concerning the Enjoyment of Unseasonably Pleasant Weather, with Caveat
by Jørgen G. Cleemann
1-17-2008
The Audience is Listening
by David Erik Nelson
The Bachelors' Guide to the Care of the Young
by L.W. Lower
1-31-2008
Over The Transom
by J.M. Munsil and R.F. Long
2-7-2008
If I Had My Wife's Legs
by R.J. Bullock
2-14-2008
Six Strategies for Coping with Isolation
by David Erik Nelson
2-21-2008
A Righteous Proposal
by Larry Gaffney
2-28-2008
Hey, Baby
by David Erik Nelson
3-6-2008
Alchemy
by William Stonebraker
3-13-2008
An Introduction to Pedro Carolino's The New Guide of the Conversation in Portuguese and English
by Mark Twain
3-20-2008
The Nastiness Online: A Rant in Conversation
by David Erik Nelson and Morgan Johnson
3-27-2008
Boy + Girl
by Adam Moorad
4-3-2008
TITLE: DRUNK FUCK
by Cruz A. Fernandez
4-10-2008
Meditation on Hell
by William Stonebraker
4-17-2008
OF THE EXPERIMENT OF INVISIBILITY, AND HOW IT SHOULD BE PERFORMED
translated by S. Liddell MacGregor Mathers
4-24-2008
Notes On Writing Weird Fiction
by H.P. Lovecraft
5-1-2008
The Flood
(A Poor Mojo's Monstrously Bad Sex Rant Contest Notable Entry)
by Nino Campos
5-8-2008
The Next Time I Go To A Sex Toy Party
(A Poor Mojo's Monstrously Bad Sex Rant Contest Notable Entry)
by Kathy A. Fisher
5-15-2008
Acing The Oral Failing the Fucking
(A Poor Mojo's Monstrously Bad Sex Rant Contest Notable Entry)
by Joe Filippone
5-22-2008
Try It Before You Buy It
(A Poor Mojo's Monstrously Bad Sex Rant Contest Notable Entry)
by Juanita Walton
5-29-2008
Meet Your Match on Craigslist
(A Poor Mojo's Monstrously Bad Sex Rant Contest Notable Entry)
by Prof. Barbara Foster
6-5-2008
Sondra's Night of Golden Memories
(The Poor Mojo's Monstrously Bad Sex Rant Contest Runner-Up)
by J. Troy Seate
6-12-2008
The Prize for the Lamest Booty Call I have Endured Goes To . . .
(The Poor Mojo's Monstrously Bad Sex Rant Contest WINNER!)
by Mollena Lee Williams
6-19-2008
Review: JJ Abrams' Fringe—pilot episode
by Morgan Johnson
6-26-2008
Conversation With An Idiot
by Kathy A. Fisher
7-3-2008
The Invention of the English
(a Poor Mojo's Classic)
by David Erik Nelson
7-10-2008
Review: Secret Invasion #4 and Captain Britian and MI13 #3
by Morgan Johnson
7-17-2008
Notes On Writing Weird Fiction
by H.P. Lovecraft
7-24-2008
How to Write Plain English: A Book for Lawyers and Consumers (an excerpt)
by Rudolf Flesch
7-31-2008
What I Really Want to See On Television
(a Poor Mojo's Classic)
by Jim Therkalsen
8-7-2008
Why Doesn't Anyone Love Me?
(a Poor Mojo's Classic)
by Jason Michael
8-14-2008
Page 707 from the Poor Mojo Special Services Exam:
Qualification Exam Relevant for Levels X to OP13
(a Poor Mojo's Classic)
by the PMjA Staff
8-21-2008
If You Come Only Once, You've Been Cheated: A Post-Structuralist Examination of the Hegemony of the "Pure" and "Sordid"
(a Poor Mojo's Classic)
by lolly@biperson.com (annotations by the PMjA Staff)
8-28-2008
My Private Self-Help Guru
by Frank Sloan
9-4-2008
Butt Floss
by Dave Miller
9-11-2008
Big Mac Rant
by Nancy Aldersmith
9-18-2008
This Is Not My Beautiful House
by Sylvia J. Adams
9-25-2008
Big Brother
by Wayne Scheer
10-2-2008
Direct Translations of Six Phrases I Used in Costa Rica
by David Erik Nelson
10-9-2008
When Does a Start-Up Stop Starting?
(A Poor Mojo's "Bad Job, Good Times; Good Job, Bad Times" Rant Contest Notable Entry)
by A.K. Cotham
Your First Job: Try Not to Drown the Patients (A Lesson in Humanity)
(A Poor Mojo's "Bad Job, Good Times; Good Job, Bad Times" Rant Contest Notable Entry)
by Norma J. Jones
10-23-2008
Tipped by a Madwoman
(A Poor Mojo's "Bad Job, Good Times; Good Job, Bad Times" Rant Contest Notable Entry)
by Janey Brewer
10-30-2008
My Worst Job Ever: Razing the Rainforest
(A Poor Mojo's "Bad Job, Good Times; Good Job, Bad Times" Rant Contest Notable Entry)
by Michael M. Michaelson
11-6-2008
A Rant On Alcoholic Toddlers
(A Poor Mojo's "Bad Job, Good Times; Good Job, Bad Times" Rant Contest Notable Entry)
by Christa Miller
11-13-2008
Joining The 85% That Don't Survive
(A Poor Mojo's "Bad Job, Good Times; Good Job, Bad Times" Rant Contest Notable Entry)
by Thomas Sullivan
11-20-2008
Black Friday Rules
by Justin Brock-Jones
11-27-2008
Crap World
(A Poor Mojo's "Bad Job, Good Times; Good Job, Bad Times" Rant Contest WINNER!)
by Kat Nove
12-4-2008
Corn-ered
by Thomas Sullivan
12-11-2008
Some of Us Wonder
by Frank Sloan
12-18-2008
Rasslin'
by Ricky Garni
12-25-2008
International Relations
by David Erik Nelson
1-1-2009
Make Talk
by Fritz Swanson
1-8-2009
Homewreckers
by David Erik Nelson
1-15-2009
Inaugural Address
by President Barack Hussein Obama
1-22-2009
Tallest of Allest
by Doug Mathewson
1-29-2009
At the Root
by H.P. Lovecraft
2-5-2009
The Evil Glass-Seller
by Charles Baudelaire
2-12-2009
The Third Book of Occult Philosophy
by Heinrich Cornelius Agrippa
2-19-2009
The Creepiest Film Ever Made
by David Erik Nelson
2-26-2009
History of the Necronomicon
by H.P. Lovecraft
3-5-2009
A Man's World
by Glen Jones
3-12-2009
Sock Puppets
by Doug Mathewson
3-19-2009
Watchmen
a movie review
by Alan Benard
3-26-2009
Raise the Trophies High!
by Michael Lars
4-2-2009
Sarah's Field
by Barry Basden
4-9-2009
What Happens When You Assume? (An Essay About Watchmen)
by Anastasios Manettas
4-16-2009
Jeff's Last Call
by Thomas Sullivan
4-23-2009
Prophylactica?
(A Poor Mojo's "My Travel Fiasco" Rant Contest Notable Entry)
by Wayne Scheer
4-30-2009
And for This We Got What?
(A Poor Mojo's "My Travel Fiasco" Rant Contest Notable Entry)
by Paul Baughman
U.S. Bums
(A Poor Mojo's "My Travel Fiasco" Rant Contest Notable Entry)
by Kristopher B. Jacobs
5-14-2009
Fourteen Planes to Chefornak
(The Poor Mojo's My Travel Fiasco Rant Contest WINNER!)
by Karen Schwabach
5-21-2009
30 Seconds Where I Think About Being Alone
by Colin McKay Miller
5-28-2009
Metrical Regularity
by H.P. Lovecraft
6-4-2009
Mother's Day
by Barry Basden
6-11-2009
What Do We Need to Know About James Wenneker Von Brunn?
by Alan Benard
6-18-2009
A Few Words on Etiquette
by Edgar Allan Poe
6-25-2009
An Opinion On Dreams
by Edgar Allan Poe
7-2-2009
Grappling Hooks for the Socially Isolated
by Edgar Mason
7-9-2009
Where are the Streams?
by Onyenezi Chika Victor
7-16-2009
SUMER KOLCAK = GOD OF INFINITY
by S.U.M.E.R. K.O.L.C.A.K.
7-23-2009
Reynolds and Me
by Barry Basden
7-30-2009
What Should be in Your Submission?
(a Poor Mojo's Classic)
by the PMjA Staff
8-6-2009
The Bisexuality FAQ
(a Poor Mojo's Classic)
by "Q" and "A"
8-13-2009
I Have This Fucked Up New Job
(a Poor Mojo's Classic)
by Rob Miller
8-20-2009
My New Job Is WAY More Fucked Up Than I Thought
(a Poor Mojo's Classic)
by Rob Miller
8-27-2009
Reality As We Know It
(A Poor Mojo's "Worst Possible Cover Letter" Rant Contest Notable Entry)
by Rebecca Calappi
9-3-2009
JIM ROME SHOW LOOKING FOR A WRITER (Orange County)
(A Poor Mojo's "Worst Possible Cover Letter" Rant Contest Notable Entry)
by James Pyle
9-10-2009
Cosmology Makeover!
(A Poor Mojo's "Worst Possible Cover Letter" Rant Contest Notable Entry)
by Scott Schafer
9-17-2009
Dear Mr. Steele
(A Poor Mojo's "Worst Possible Cover Letter" Rant Contest Notable Entry)
by Kevin James Miller
9-24-2009
Prepare to Read my Awesomeness
(A Poor Mojo's "Worst Possible Cover Letter" Rant Contest Notable Entry)
by Harvey Roberts
10-1-2009
Wanda's Watching
(The Poor Mojo's "Worst Possible Cover Letter" Rant Contest WINNER!)
by Caren Gussoff
10-8-2009
Cousin Jake
by Barry Basden
10-15-2009
Talking About Reading
by Onyenezi Chika Victor
10-22-2009
The Philosophy of Furniture
by Edgar Allan Poe
10-29-2009
Feminism as a Resolution to Pornography
by Kevin Vorshak
11-5-2009
For MFA Candidates: A Warning
by Michael Andreoni
11-12-2009
The End of Static
by Patrick May
11-19-2009
On the Meaning of Thanksgiving;
the full text of a speech given by the Giant Squid to the assembled orphans of Our Lady of Fatima
(a Poor Mojo's Classic)
by Poor Mojo's Giant Squid
11-26-2009
Some Secrets Of The Magazine Prison-House
by Edgar Allan Poe
12-3-2009
Brilliant Trousers
by Laura Grace Weldon
12-10-2009
Stop Opposite Sex Marriage
by Bob Natiello
12-17-2009
Happy Holidays from the Carter Compound!
by Beth Carter
12-24-2009
Role of The RED GLOW: A Choate Tale
by Kevin Ahearn
12-31-2009
Alien Cave Woman Sex
by Doug Mathewson
1-7-2010
Onyeka Nwelue: A Myth
by Onyenezi Chika Victor
1-14-2010
Gracious Remarks by my Cooking Enthusiast Friend Keith Upon His First Attempt to Make Dinner in my NYC Kitchen
by Matthea Marquart
1-21-2010
Deaf in Venice
by Jimmy Chen
1-28-2010
Craigslist Ad
by Emily Dufton
2-4-2010
Call Me A Romantic
by Kat Nove
2-11-2010
You Say Tentacle, I Say Testacle
by Eva Lesko Natiello
2-18-2010
Javelina Death Rap
by Bob Wallass
2-25-2010
The Raid: Is Social Security Being Robbed by Congress?
by Fritz Swanson
3-4-2010
The Shaven Kiwi
(A Poor Mojo's "The Best Recipe You'd Never Guess" Rant Contest Notable Entry)
by Kirsty Logan
3-11-2010
Toffee Lust
(A Poor Mojo's "The Best Recipe You'd Never Guess" Rant Contest Notable Entry)
by Helen Dring
3-18-2010
Trials of the Discernible Palate
(A Poor Mojo's "The Best Recipe You'd Never Guess" Rant Contest Notable Entry)
by Misty Posey
3-25-2010
By Hook or By Cook
(A Poor Mojo's "The Best Recipe You'd Never Guess" Rant Contest Notable Entry)
by Cindy Kerschner
4-1-2010
Revenge Cookies
(The Poor Mojo's "The Best Recipe You'd Never Guess" Rant Contest WINNER!)
by Faith Van Horne
4-8-2010
Some Thoughts on the Science of Onanism
(a Poor Mojo's Classic)
by Mark Twain
4-15-2010
Breakfast in the Twilight Zone
by Kat Nove
4-22-2010
Gender Bending Commercial Memes
by Cecil Lue Disharoon
4-29-2010
The Chasm
by Sue Ellis
5-6-2010
Sword of My Mouth: A Review in Conversation
by Morgan Johnson and David Erik Nelson
5-13-2010
Happily Ever After
by Gary Presley
5-20-2010
Texas Board of Ed: Flintstones a Documentary
by Terry Hawkins
5-27-2010
If You Ask Me, When the Women Play Well, It's Like the Most Excellent Jazz Music and You Just Go 'Yeah, Man, Oh, Yeah'
by Julio Peralta-Paulino
6-3-2010
Put 'em Together And What Have You Got?
by Alan Benard
6-10-2010
Late In October
by Deborah Reed
6-17-2010
Nature Lessons
by Wayne Scheer
6-24-2010
"In The Event Of Moon Disaster" and "In the Event of Space Monkey Hyperevolution"
(a Poor Mojo's Classic)
by Richard Milhous Nixon and by Dwight David Eisenhower, respectively
7-1-2010
Why I Propose to Wrest Control of This "Almanac(k)" From it's Filthy, Simian Purveyors; How I shall Accomplish the Deed; and How You, the Fair Reader, shall Benefit
by Architeuthis dux (the Giant Squid)
7-8-2010
The Last Time I Saw bin Laden
(a Poor Mojo's Classic)
by David Pacheco
For Sale: My Tattoo
(a Poor Mojo's Classic)
by M.P.
9-4-2003
Your Librarian Hates You!
(a Poor Mojo's Classic)
by r.wade
7-29-2010
Just Left There
by Mitch James
8-5-2010
Shunned by Polite Society
by Laura Grace Weldon
8-12-2010
Silent Shout
by Joshua Willey
8-19-2010
Six Choking Hazards You Never Imagined
by David Erik Nelson
8-26-2010
Redemption
Wayne Scheer
9-2-2010
Saudi Deluge
by Durga Vijaykumar
9-9-2010
Feedback
by Thomas Sullivan
9-16-2010
To His Wife
by Rebecca Gaffron
9-23-2010
The Next Story
by Deborah Reed
9-30-2010
The Art of Controversy
by Ambrose Bierce
10-7-2010
Ask Not
(a Poor Mojo's Classic)
by David Robert Nelson
10-14-2010
Diversity
by Sue Ellis
10-21-2010
Dunkin Donuts' Contribution to Global Warming
by Jacqueline Zillioux
10-28-2010
The Ordeal Of Change
by Frank Sloan
11-4-2010
Hi My Dearie
by Michelle Fadem
11-11-2010
Unholy Eucharist
by Gary Presley
11-18-2010
No Rules
by Keith Landrum
11-25-2010
Sirkus Andromeda
by Jane Røken
12-2-2010
Scipio's Villa
by Seneca
12-9-2010
Susie's Letter from Santa
by Mark Twain
12-16-2010
The Terrors of Santa Claus (A Photo-Essay)
(a Poor Mojo's Xmas Classic)
by Terrence McWee
12-23-2010
Happy Holidays from the Carter Compound!
(a Poor Mojo's Xmas Classic)
by Beth Carter
12-30-2010
The Gift of Gab
by Ambrose Bierce
1-6-2011
A Bucket of Dirt Clods
by Sue Ellis
1-13-2011
A Mad World
by Ambrose Bierce
1-20-2011
About The Game
by J. Bradley
2-3-2011
Natura Benigna
by Ambrose Bierce
2-3-2011
The Word "White" (March 17, 1854)
by Frederick Douglass
2-10-2011
Rebuttal To "The Word 'White'" (March 18, 1854)
by Kevin Vorshak
2-17-2011
Why Should A Colored Man Enlist? (April 1863)
by Frederick Douglass
2-24-2011
The Common Reader
by Virginia Woolf
3-3-2011
Mandrake's Revenge
by Jane Røken
3-10-2011
How It Strikes A Contemporary
by Virginia Woolf
3-17-2011
How It Strikes A Contemporary
by Virginia Woolf
3-24-2011
Sometimes I Fool Around With A Dude Named Jose, But It's Ok Because My Girlfriend Does Too
by Christopher Forsley
3-31-2011
The Russian Point Of View
by Virginia Woolf
4-7-2011
I Would Have Obeyed Those Gods, Became a Dunce, and Joined the Confederacy
by Christopher Forsley
4-14-2011
Diotima, on the subject of love
by Socrates (you know, kinda sorta)
4-21-2011
The United States of Lyncherdom
by Mark Twain
4-28-2011
The Last Time I Saw bin Laden
(a Poor Mojo's Classic)
by David Pacheco
5-5-2011
Advice to Youth
by Mark Twain
5-12-2011
The Hash House Harriers of Washington, DC
by Milton Gray
5-19-2011
I Have This Fucked Up New Job and it's WAY More Fucked Up Than I Thought
(a Poor Mojo's Classic)
by Rob Miller
5-26-2011
Terminal Note
by Poor Mojo's Giant Squid
7-7-2011